FINDING
BALANCE

WHO ARE YOU?

Well, my name is Elinor Kry. I go to NYU. I am a Vietnamese Cambodian American photographer, but I'm also a student. So, I'm like an aspiring one, I guess.


HOW DID YOU GET INTO PHOTOGRAPHY?

A couple of years ago my dad went to BEST Buy and got a camera during Black Friday. I remember he was super excited about it. This was when I was around 10. He comes back with this camera and is super excited, telling me I should try it. So, I like just taking photos, whatever, but then like, the next week after that, we went to Tokyo. It was for my winter break, and my dad and I had this camera, and we would take turns taking photos. I was just so obsessed with the way that the camera was photographing this place I'd never been before. I remember I was constantly taking photos of that trip. Like, there were so many of them. Then, um, when I got home, I was like, this place is so boring. I really enjoyed taking photos of the people in Japan.

And so what I would do, like, when my parents weren't home, I'm an only child, I would set up the camera on a ledge on the table or something. But there were no other people around; I would set up a whole thing, put myself in it, take self-timer portraits, and try to create a scene. Then after that, I just kept doing it, and I would eventually do it with other people after I made friends and stuff. It’s been a while since I started, I have been shooting for about 9 years now.



WHEN DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANTED TO PURSUE?

During COVID, I was in high school when we were thinking about where you wanted to go to college and stuff. I was like; I don't know, I would just sit in my room all day being like, what the fuck am I gonna do? And I care about things but don’t care that much. I was just always taking photos. So I was just like, I'll try; maybe I'll try to get some work right now and see how it goes. Cause I knew that art is something that's really hard to pursue professionally. And then, I don't know, that's when I really started trying, and then I just fell into it a little bit.

E: How did your parents feel initially about it?

My mom has always been really supportive of me being an artist since I was young. Cause I think she saw that I was like visually, I needed art to like be, I don't know, for my own, like mental stability or whatever. But at the same time, she's like a first gen Asian parent. So, it's like she was really concerned, but my dad didn't and still doesn't understand. But I think they were really, or my dad was, like really, really against it for sure. Like he just didn't understand. We got into arguments, and there was a lot of tension about it. He still doesn't really get it. But I think they've begun to accept it more than other parents I think would, so yeah.

E: Was it initially difficult to hear your dad did not want you to pursue photography?

Yeah, I don't know.  It wasn't something that I was shocked about. If I was surprised, I would care more about it, but from the get-go, I knew he wouldn't approve of it. So it was just something that I just knew I had to deal with.

C: Did he start to change his mind after seeing your commercial success?

Yeah, I mean, when he saw that I could make money and basically pay for everything myself with it. Which has actually faded; I can't anymore. But when that was happening, he was a lot more supportive.



HOW DID YOU BREAK INTO COMMERCIAL WORK?

So, during COVID, like I said, I started reaching out to people in LA, like emailing a bunch of creative directors and photographers, asking them if they ever needed assistance or whatever; I didn't really know how to approach it. I was lucky enough that one creative director responded and said I could come to assist on one of her shoots. I basically told my parents the next day that I got a gig in LA, and I'm like, all the way in the Bay Area. They were just like I had nothing else to do, so they essentially let me go do it. So I went down to LA, stayed with my family down there, and then I just kept assisting her. Then eventually, she figured out I do photography, and then she had me do BTS photography on music videos. Then that would end up, it just kind of fell from there, and then I did a social media internship with this like the director's agency through her. Then also I worked at this high fashion store in LA called Terminal 27. did a lot of photography, just like random shit for them.


HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONAL WORK?

Photos have always been my way of expressing myself, for sure. Like I'm a very sensitive and emotional person. If I was struggling with something, I was able to use photography to express that. And so I think that's always been the basis of my work in general. I recently have been less conceptual, but it represents a lot of my relationships with people and how I view myself in the world around other people, like social circumstances and mental health. Also, I've recently started to think a lot more about my identity, I guess, as an Asian person. But so I've shot my family recently, which is something that I'd never done before.

E: How much do you think your identity plays a role in your work?

I would have said no if you asked me a year ago. But I think now it's probably like that; it's huge. I think I feel a lot of the ways I felt in high school because of my identity as an Asian person, also just who I am and my background, especially growing up in a lot of white, suburban communities. So I think it's really big, and I think I'm still discovering that, and I think coming to New York has been like a huge player in that, being around so many different kinds of people.

E: You said you are Vietnamese and Cambodian, right? Did your parents come here during the Vietnam War?

Yeah, so, um, my mom came during the Vietnam War by herself when she was seven on like one of those boats. My dad's family came during the Khmer Rouge, the Cambodia Genocide, and they met in college here.

E:  Are there any themes of that you play into your work?

Um, I mean, not like directly, I think. School last semester, I did a project on my dad's side of the family because they live in Connecticut. I was just basically documenting them, but it was like just because I don't even know them that well, so I don't know. I think I want to explore that soon. I'm going to Vietnam this summer for six or eight weeks, so I think that's definitely gonna be a time where I like directly doing photography based on that.



HOW WAS THE EDDIE ADAMS WORKSHOP? TALK ABOUT THAT EXPERIENCE.

Yeah, it's a workshop, okay, it's like a photojournalism workshop and essentially like it's a three-day weekend, and they like to advertise it as this place where you get to network with all these editors and meet all these photographers and like have this crazy culty experience. Whatever, there's like lots of speakers, it's very intense, and just one of my teachers told me to apply. I didn't understand it, but basically, they give you an assignment over two days, and my assignment was on a family that owns a farm, and that was pretty much it. It was weird for me because I also don't really do photojournalism; I think I will start doing it more because of Eddie Adams. I just got exposed to a whole different world, but it was weird because I didn't know the people I was shooting, and they were so different from me, and they lived such different lives. But I think it was more like I felt comfortable photographing them because photography makes me feel comfortable.

E: Who even was Eddie Adams?

He photographed the Vietnam War and other stuff.

C: Did you meet him?

No, he died like 20 years ago. Oh! Also, everyone got COVID after the workshop ended.


HOW WAS IT INTERACTING WITH THE CELEBRITIES AND MUSICIANS YOU SHOT?

To be honest, I don't interact with them very much. It's like I take these photos of them because the process is like you get like five seconds of them, and you're like, "Hey, look here," and it's very like not personal at all. I mean, there are some people that I photographed that I have met multiple times, so then we develop a relationship, but most of the time, especially in music videos, there's so much other stuff going on that, like all the photos I take, are just very lucky like you have like literally 10 seconds to take a photo, and that's it, so I would say the celebrities very much like live in their own world is even on these sets like they just have. I don't know they are on a pedestal because it's their music video, you know, and like you're working for them, and I'm not anywhere near them.



DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE PERSON TO WORK WITH?

For me, I always enjoy working with my friends the most. So, I mean, like with celebrities, it's just commission work. It's like; it’s more about making them look hot. Not like, me trying to say something, you know? So I think at the end of the day that the people I like to work with are the people that also understand that there's something bigger to say.


WHY DO YOU HAVE A CAST ON?

C: Yea, like, what happened here?

Oh, okay, well, I fell down the stairs at the NYU building. Yeah, and my professor saw me fall down the stairs. And then, because I saw him, I started skipping the stairs, going down.

E: Childish.

I know, but okay, so my professor was behind me like we're pretty good friends, but he talks a lot, and I was like not in a good mood, so I knew he was behind me; I really don't want to talk to him right now because I knew he was gonna come to me, and so I that's why I started skipping stairs so I could like get down faster, and then, of course, I fell, and then it was really bad. I have an extra bone in my body, so it makes it even worse; I was in a boot for like eight weeks and just got out of it last week, so yeah, that's okay. But I love him, shout out to Professor Ozawa; I love him.

C: Wait, so you were skipping the stairs like two at a time?

Yeah.

E: But what if he reads this and feels directly responsible for the reason you fell down the stairs?

Okay, he doesn't know that part.

C: Really? You might want to read this, sir.

But he saw the entire thing happen and was like, "Are you okay?". It's like, "No, bro.” I was like, not really. I was sitting there in pain, like I’m totally fine.




DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE PHOTO? THE LEAST FAVORITE?

I struggle with this because I took this photo two years ago. Means that I haven't improved in two years. My favorite photo is this photo I took two years ago. It's pinned on my Instagram. I don't know, but it's this one of those two people kissing and the sun, and then there's someone behind them. Um, I personally remember taking that photo because it was just like an aha moment in my head. But it also says a lot about how I went through high school. I was observing many of my friends, like getting into relationships and being there for them. Personally, it was like never in a relationship. Watching other people get into these relationships in high school made me feel a lot like an outsider. The feeling was an experience I had a lot of, and I think that photo represents that a lot. I don't know; I also think there's a deeper connection to it that I don't think I've been able to replicate since then, so I think that's also a thing. It was just a really fun day, too. That's definitely my favorite photo, though, and conceptually I feel like it was creative, and I'm like, how do I do that again?



C: So what about your least favorite?

Oh my God, I actually just did a shoot. And I just sent the photos like four weeks late because I hated the photos, like so much. And on top of that, I was extremely sick during the day of that shoot, and the client had no idea. It was for this Parsons- If they read, this would be funny, but it was for a clothing brand. I was just bad, just really bad. But I hate a lot of my if not most of my photos. Like, I'll get excited about it for like a day, and then I'll say I'm like, no.  - I like, 'cause it's like, it's nice at the moment, and then you're like, you're looking at it more, and then you're like, oh.

I also think, like, with social media these days, we're in-date with so many images, it's so hard to, like, really feel like your photo stands out or is unique or is special because, in reality, there are thousands of other photos that look exactly like yours. And also, because we're inspired by the same people and because the algorithms show us the same photos, It's like, why do my photos look like everyone else's? It's 'cause I'm looking at the other photos, and that's why they look like the other photos. But then it's like, where am I supposed to look now? So I don't know, I think it's so easy to hate your photos, especially in this world.

Especially in my own critiques at school, these people are so judgmental in my classes of other people's work. They're like, oh, it's boring or bland. I'm like, bro, all of our work looks the same. It's hard, and I don't know how to get out of it; it's been something I have been thinking about a lot. Like trying to be like a perfect photographer, in the technical sense, but also like to be creative. Like how do you be creative when you like to see the same things over and over again and have the same experiences that everyone else has? I feel like in high school; I was more creative. But I don't really know why, but like, and now I just feel kind of the same as everyone else.


DO YOU FEEL LIKE GOING TO SCHOOL FOR PHOTOGRAPHY HINDERS YOUR GROWTH AS AN PHOTOGRAPHER?

I kind of think so a little bit. 'Cause your teachers are telling you to do stuff, especially in the fall semester where you're shooting black and white analog, and there's only so much you can do with black and white analog. I also think 'cause the types of photographers in my program are all kind of the same. And like, yeah, I definitely, I think so. But I think technically, I’ve improved a lot too. So I can’t say either or, I think there's like a trade-off.



HAS SOCIAL MEDIA BEEN MORE BENEFICIAL OR DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR WORK?

I don't know. I think it's beneficial just because I thought before I didn't have any way of accessing other images. It's like how they always say it's important to understand history. I think that's true, like understanding the history of photography and stuff and seeing other people's work because I think that always informs someone else's. So I think it's beneficial because I've been inspired by photographers who have helped me create images that I do really like. I also think for connecting with other people just so I like networking or whatever, like, I've gotten most of my gigs from Instagram, so it's just like, I don't know, yeah, I think it's beneficial. I wish there was a different way to do it.

E: Yeah, and then earlier, you're talking about how you're anxious. What is it like connecting with people digitally and then transitioning to in-person? Like is that difficult for you?

Yes, it's so difficult for me. I think that's not just like in the professional world, But in general, I have a lot of social anxiety. But I'm also really awkward if I'm intimidated by someone. Okay. I'm maybe not awkward right now, but I'm really awkward usually, like, Maybe it's you guys. Yeah, I'm really, really awkward. Like really awkward.

The other day, I was in Washington Square Park with my friend, and I was standing there, and I heard this entire ass friend group mention me. I didn't recognize a single one of them, and they talked to me for three minutes about my photography stuff, and then one of them goes, "Yeah, I heard when you first met her, she's hella awkward."

I was like, "Damn!" Yeah, so, I don't know, I definitely struggle, especially with these people I really want to impress to get jobs and stuff or just build relationships with. And then, because I really want to, I get nervous, and then I'm unable to be myself.



WERE YOU EVER AFRAID THE ANXIOUS SIDE OF YOU WOULD PREVENT YOU FROM FINDING WORK?

I think the reason why I was able to get gigs in the first place is that I didn't think about that. I think when you're young, you're more naive. You just do things without thinking, but I think over the past two years, I've definitely developed that anxiety, and so now I feel that way more, and I think that might be like I have anxiety like sending emails.

C: Do you think it's like a correlation because, as the more you get deeper into your photography journey, like the bigger you get, the more publications you go through,  do you feel like you have to uphold that standard of, like oh I've done all this like that perfect work or like great work but I have to always keep on performing like keep on delivering.?

Yeah, I think, like, I don't know if all of you have seen my Instagram but my Instagram is so pretentious, like it's so pretentious. It's ridiculous. It's because of that I just like, cannot post an photo without thinking about whether is it like just as good as the other work that I posted before, and the more work that I do and like, the more I get scared of that and especially with publications like I can't post too much personal work because then it's like then I don't have more work on my page and like all these things like but yeah I definitely struggle with that so much like I need to like change. I think Instagram has become so; the idea of being perceived is very much in my head.

DO YOU EVER HAVE IMPOSTOR SYNDROME ON A SET?

Why are you guys laughing? Why are you all laughing?

E: I hate that term… imposter syndrome.

I actually don't really know what imposter syndrome is…

E: I feel like everyone just started saying that shit. Like, “I got imposter syndrome…” the fuck are you talking about?

L: It's like when you believe that you do not belong in a place because you're not as good as the others, or like you don't deserve anything good that you've gotten.

E: Isn't that just being insecure, though? Like, did we need another name for it?

To be honest, I don't feel like I don't deserve to be where I am, but I do, like, I am incredibly insecure about my work, but it's more like I'm just, I put a lot of pressure on myself, and I'm scared that I'm not gonna be successful. I don't think I have imposter syndrome, But I do have a thing where I see my work, and I am like, that's not me.



DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE SHOOTING OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS?

Yes, yes, I have. It's always super fun. Yeah, I think it's a bit intimidating for sure because they're also photographers. I love photographing other artists, yes. Actually, okay, I've had a really bad experience, but that's because she was older and had some difficult requests. Usually, I really enjoy photographing other artists though.


DO YOU THINK PHOTOGRAPHERS NEED TO APPEAR AS PRETENTIOUS?

I don't think you have to be, but like, for example, I would like to get into more fashion editorial photography and those, I mean, and also maybe a documentary, but those like industries are for the rich, you know? So it's like the people that first have the opportunities to like being in those spaces are usually elitist and very privileged. I mean, obviously not all, but I think in a way you kind of, to like to connect with these people, you kind of have to like to appear a little pretentious. I definitely feel pressure to be that way. I don't know. It's like, but then every time someone meets me based on my Instagram, like we get coffee or something, they're always like, you are not like your Instagram. So then I'm like, I mean, I need to change. I think it's like work versus who you are as a person.

E: Do you believe in the separation of the art versus the artist?

I do my own work; I think it works best for me. I think it's not for everybody; it doesn't work. So, I mean, I don't really like to have my personal life on my Instagram because I feel like with my photography, I am already so vulnerable with my work. I mean, people might not notice that, but like for me, it's like a lot for me to put these photos because they are like a part of me and stuff. So I think for me, to put photos of myself, for example, would just be too much, you know? And then also, as a female, I guess people are more judgmental on the internet anyways. So I would rather separate everything so I can live my life as I want.


DID YOU EVER TAKE ANY CLASSES TO LEARN THE TECHNICAL SIDE OF PHOTOGRAPHY PRIOR TO COLLEGE?

I pretty much learned as I went. I didn't really take any classes. I mean, I was in Image Wakers. It was online, though, and that was just like a photo thing. It was more conceptual because they care more about the story, But I didn't really do any, I guess, but like something inspiring. Sometimes I'll talk to some of my friends trying to get into the industry and stuff, and they already have a huge ego. I think one of the biggest things is you have to be super humble and realize that you're really not shit compared to these other people. Or at least you are shit, but to these people, you're not, and it's best if you like. I think it's just like that. Realize that you have so much to learn and like just absorb as much as you can take the opportunity, take as many opportunities as you are able to, and like not to be like picking choosy And then also fight for money like you have to also know how to stand up for yourself in terms of labor.




DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH PRICING YOUR OWN WORK?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. The pricing is very different because I work with publications, not commercial ones. For example, cause, with a record label, you could charge ten times as much, you know? Versus a small publication, they don't really have money. So, it depends.

C: How do you decide how much you want to charge?

It's almost never my decision. But then, when I started, I would think, "I'm pretty sure I'm getting underpaid." So then I would ask another photographer I developed a friendship with and ask, how much did you get paid for this? Or how much would you suggest that I ask for this job? But in terms of money, photography is all over the place.


DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR ANY NEW PHOTOGRAPHERS?

I have, like, okay, I know it seems like I have experience, but I don't. Like, I literally am still trying to do some unpaid PA jobs right now.

E: What would you say to a younger version of yourself?

Okay, I would say, I would say, like, like don't put yourself down, believe in yourself. Don't put too much pressure on yourself because you're always learning, and that's how you also are gonna do the best work. Just be yourself!

E: Send emails.

Send emails too, and don't be ashamed or think too much about it. These people don't give a shit.


WHAT WOULD YOUR DREAM PROJECT LOOK LIKE?

I've never thought about that. I would wanna do something with like 100 people.

Like a giant group of people and like photographs, I don't know, I don't really have a good answer 'cause I've never thought about this, but I would definitely like to tell a story about something that's important.

E: Okay, well, that's a very big thing.

C: Shit gon' be big.

It's gonna be big. It's gonna be conceptual. On god, we pose in every single person, like everyone is special, and like we're gonna say something.

C: And it's important; it will say something and look good.

E: People will see it and be like, "Wow, this really says something." I'm not sure what it is, but it’s saying something.



IS IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO POSE YOUR SUBJECTS?

Okay, my go-to pose is like lying on the floor. On the floor, yeah. I don't know; I always end up resorting to the most emo poses possible. I usually would just make them do it themselves, or if whatever they automatically will do is usually great. For example, the way you are sitting right now, I would take a photo of you like that. But then the second I'm like, stay there, they always get tense, and I barely miss it. So, I usually have to do it the second before they realize it. I've gotten a lot better at it, though. And I don't take too long with posing, so they don't get even more tense.


WHAT DO YOU HAVE PLANNED NEXT?

I mean, I just want to find work and connect with some people. - 'Cause I would be fine shooting an engagement or a wedding at this point.

L: Graduation pics are coming up!

I already did some grad pics. I am also doing a photo story on Asian American students who don't speak their ethnic language or are not accustomed to their culture. And that's coming out in June. Mark your calendars! A lot of the people are uncomfortable talking about their experiences, but I think It's actually really interesting. And so, yeah, that's what I'm working on. I've been having a hard time visualizing the whole thing because it's like a documentary, so I'm struggling with that. But second of all, I'm trying to do more conceptual shoots. I'm trying to get a job, another job, and I'm trying to get more money. That's where I am at.

C: Wanna shout anyone out?

Okay, thanks, Mom. Shout out, Dad. He brought me duck yesterday morning. He brought me half a roast duck, which I'll probably eat today. Then Curtis Willocks, my quote-unquote photo mentor. Anyways, thank you to all my awesome friends and the professor that watched me fall down the stairs. Professor Ozawa love you!

ALL PHOTO WORK BESIDES COVER SHOT BY ELINOR KRY. THANK YOU SO MUCH ELI FOR TALKING TO US! SHE IS A SUPER TALENTED PHOTOGRAPHER, SO BOOK HER!

for more of Eli’s work, check elinorkry.com

CREDITS

SUBJECT/BRAND : ELINOR KRY @elinorkry

PHOTOGRAPHER : LAURA SONG @gh0stpimp / ELINOR KRY @elinorkry

MODEL : ELINOR KRY @elinorkry

TEXT : E&C* @acediastudios